Heartfelt thanks to my droogs on the Pilgrim Ascending text chain for the idea, inspiration, and hilarious execution of this post.
So here are my 99 problems, in no particular order:
99. Helen Rogers
98. Earwax
97. Flutes
96. The Energizer bunny
95. Fennel
94. Service charges
93. The Lone Ranger (Tonto ok)
92. Fire
91. Cyber trucks
90. Lefties
89. Beer pong
88. Hunger
87. Viet Nam (war, not country)
86. Fasting
85. Leftover sushi
84. Spin
83. Gangnam style
82. Airlines
81. Blisters
80. Vomit
79. Earthquakes
78. Non alcoholic beer
77. Hot dogs
76. Halloween
75. Beet salad
74. Crunchy peanut butter
73. $20 bills
72. Camping
71. MTV
70. Squash (the sport not vegetable)
69. Designated hitter rule
68. Cleft palates
67. Nausea
66. iPhones
65. Paper cuts
64. Deadlines
63. Static electricity
62. UFOs
61. Gasoline
60. THE Ohio State University
59. Charcoal
58. NASCAR
57. Pickleball
56. E bikes
55. Norovirus
54. Parking meters
53. Insurance
52. LA Dodgers
51. In laws
50. Shingles
49. Nose hair
48. LIV golf
47. Entitlement
46. Saudi Arabia
45. Emerald ash borers
44. Diet Coke
43. Toenails
42. Starbucks
41. Nuclear Medicine
40. Fried pork skins
39. Dynamite
38. Traffic
37. Rudeness
36. Headaches
35. Influencers
34. Dementia
33. Cryptocurrency
32. Aaron Rodgers
31. Clogged drains
30. Insomnia
29. Nazis
28. Grateful Dead
27. Toothaches
26. Lauren Boebert
25. Greed
24. TikTok
23. Karaoke
22. Hairballs
21. Spiders
20. Being late
19. Fox News
18. Las Vegas
17. Statistics
16. Flat tires
15. Jellied eels
14. Fading memories
13. Nuclear weapons
12. Roundabouts
11. Eczema
10. Jethro Tull
9. Smog
8. Rabies
7. Glare
6. Double bogies
5. Loneliness
4. Arrogance
3. Microplastics
2. Ugly fonts (esp Times New Roman)
1. Cunts
Make your own list! It is fun and feels good to get it out.